A Beastly Limerick Competition

There is a knight called Leeroy
who always tries being a hero
but without Snarbolax' head
or with claws in his back
he will forever stay zero.

Snarbolax, hide in your ditch
since unless I lagg out 'cause of a glitch
as you lay on the ground broken
I'll make off with your boss token
Snarbolax, you son of a bitch!

Curse you!! Ol' Snarbolax
Oh! How you haunt my dreams, fierce
I woke up and you were beside me.
Sweetie!! Fetch me another cold beer.

The Snorlax looks like a beast out of hell
But we're giggling and laughing as well!
His weakness, we've found
Is a metallic sound
And he fights to the death near a bell

On this strange planet we explore
And what can we do but implore?
The spiral HQ
To see what we do
And pay us a little bit more.

But HQ says it's out of the question
"If you want it, then show some aggression!"
Snarbolax, we come
With three swords and a gun
To test our time honored profession.

Well fought, you mangy old beast
You did not disappoint in the least
But if I may
I complain, to this day
That his corpse was not much of a feast.

Snarbolax is the name of the beast
On whose runs Tier 1 players will feast.
Will it be worth their time,
Their mist energy dime?
It should train them to shield, at least!

Four knights on a run to the Core
Chanced upon a young wolver who swore
"Better cover your tracks
'Cause here comes Snarbolax
And he'll leave you all battered and sore!"

Then from out of a hedge did appear
Basil carrying a bunch of new gear
"I have just what you need
To make that beast bleed
And I'll sell you one each have no fear!"

But sadly the knights were all broke
Having spent all their crowns on a coke
Basil won't take CE
And the markets not free
So one of the knights smiled and spoke

"It seems we're a bit strapped for cash
But this beast will be easy to trash
If you'll loan us just one
And after we're done
We can pay you with loot from the bash"

Basil thought for a minute and said
"Well I've got this new crowbar I've read
Might be just the thing
For this foul wolver king
And may help you to kill the beast dead"

So the knight that spoke up grabbed the bar
And behind them a deafening roar
Signaled the attacks
Of the beast Snarbolax
And an army of wolvers weren't far

The knights fought as hard as they could
But the outlook sure didn't look good
As more wolvers poured in
And their life bars grew thin
Till soon only the one knight still stood

But the knight beaten down to a fluff
Saw the crowbar just wasn't to snuff
Cause a hit of the rental
Only did elemental
And that's why you should never pry wolf!"

Prepare yourself for this grand fight,
a demonstration of true might!
It's a matter of skill,
to kill or be killed-!
....yes Mom, I'm that dead knight.

There was a lost knight in the wildwood
Who brave before dark trees and teeth stood
Their white lengths were laid bare
He wished not to be there
And so fled the lost knight from the wildwood

Some say the beast is rather dashing,
Others saw it's jaws a'gnashin',
But I have my Flourish!
And a Jelly Suit so garish!
I'm ready to face him- No wait, I got bashed.

Oh thorny beast of woods most wild
Your eyes they burn like a devils child
But lo you fight in shadows shell
Yet pierced so quick by a ringing bell
Defenses broken your woods defiled

Oh Snarbolax so ugly yet fierce
Twas your mighty spikes with which you pierced
My only ally, my closest friend
Whom I had to revive once again
To help me fight it which disappears

Oh evil one your days are numbered
For that night we lost shall be remembered
We come with strength and swords held high
To your lair, the place where you lie
Take heed my foe we shall not be hindered

We've planned the battle, how it will begin
How we will fight and how it will end
We've trained long and hard for this day to come
In the cold of the night, in the heat of the sun
Beware mighty beast as we seek our revenge

Alas tis time for the battle to commence
For it's been many long days and nights since
My trusted friend was felled by your claws
And gave way for our mission, our great and just cause
Oh great Snarbolax, I can't take the suspense

We fought and fought as night fell upon us
Many were lost, from wolvers that ambushed
But we reached the beast's lair and started the fight
Ahh the stories that will be told of that night
From my cold iron sword, the beast fell vanquished.

Unlike most 'laxes you'll find
This beast's in a terrilous bind
Thick black like molasses -
A relief when it passes
And drops a few tokens behind!

There once was a Wolv from Nantucket,
Who's tail was so long he could tuck it.
Drool dripped from his fang,
As he gaily sang:
"I'm Snarbolax, so go and suck it!"

Beware the chulsome Snarbolax, my Knight,
Unless you're karowling for a fight
Whose prize goes unseen
As a chromalisk's green
To proud braggans who deign not just kite.

And before you leave I must expound
On this forgant foe I've seen around:
You may think it simple
To make an early boss crimple,
But whence think you plawed these grave mounds?

You see, though his claws can croom boulders
And his gaze splarks beholders,
These are hardly distressing
For brave heroes progressing:
It's his breath that most Knights cannot shoulder.

There's a great beast known as Snarbolax.
A proper sounding name, though, he lacks.
The devs thought they had spunk,
but I think they were drunk,
still I guess I should cut them some slack.

A lurking beast, Creator of havoc
Fangs of iron, claws a metallic
Eyes laying shocks and stuns
Fur shielding from thy guns
Snarbolax a beast of nature's magic.

Snarbolax I'm told you are new here
You'll need to know things, I'll make a few clear
godofskype is a troll
and energy whines are droll
but new content is rare, so for you we do cheer!

Beware, my sons, of Snarbolax!
With claws and with jaws it attacks!
If your sword's less than vorpal,
It might as well be incorp'al.
So relax, turn your backs: you'll be snacks.

Snarbolax, o thou of quick bite,
Aggressive—how I know your type.
Alpha wolvers beware
It’s not safe out there
Especially if you kids don’t get off my lawn.

There's a new beast in the pit
Which we'll all try to aggrieve
There's but one question
That halts my progression
Will a poke-flute awaken it?

Snarbolax a beast of terror and dread
Stalking without end for your head.
A pounce and a swipe
Will lay waste to your life,
Comparable to your evil ex-husband or wife.

Oh Snarbolax, I fein
That you are not a bit vain
But when we are through
Chopping up you
All you will feel is pain.

The Snarbolax has teeth meant to gnash
claws that cut deep and claws that can slash
but to travel alone
into great Wildwoods throne
I'll need only the tip 'my Final Flourash

O Snarby, invincible monster,
Of killing me, no one is fonder,
But this bell I will strike
It'll knock off his spikes
And invincible, Snarby's no longer!

Snarbolax, ye mighty great brute!
Please forgive the knights chasing your loot.
That brief piercing you've felt
is us taking your pelt -
Since the fashion, it seems, is your suit.

Onward I fight, a lesson to teach
though through tier one, my party must breach
until the great Snarbolax
destroyed by my pierce attacks
attempts to escape, my infinite reach.

You take your ladies by the triples,
Since you prefer them to have six nipples.
Snarbolax you're a pimp,
But a bit of a blimp,
When I slap you I could ride the ripples.

Snarbolax, you are a BLEEP
Who makes young knights shake and say "Meep"
I hate you so much
So don't keep in touch
'Cuz you'll fall down a hill that is steep.

Snarbolax! No beast quite so currish,
But my bank I'm sure he will nourish:
He'll be counting his days,
when I faze him with Haze,
Then finish him off with a Flourish!

Raving mad, Snarbolax, don't you dare!
You ate this poor chap's dainty hair!
And why be so queer
To stay in First Tier
When you could be romping down there?

Not an actual entry, since it's from one of the judges.

The Blonde Saga

There once was a blonde from L.A.
Who spent too much time on eBay.
She clicked on an ad
That made her quite glad
Twas an MMO Free-to-Play.

She died many times as a newb.
From not shielding that pinkish cube.
Her M.E. depleted.
The blonde was defeated.
Aha! Let's watch strats on YouTube!

Free-to-play blonde armed with plastic.
Decided to go bombastic.
Less than twenty in cash,
Comes with Static Flash,
Energy, stuff, just fantastic!

The steadfast blonde went a shopping.
Trade chat and A.H. a hopping.
With sexier gear,
The jellies now fear,
Charge attacks from plastic non-stopping!

So new boss beware of The Blonde.
Your Frumious Fangs she'll abscond.
Wilder than Snarby
Meet Plastic Barbie
The Stunning Belle with VISA wand.

Pwnzord just missed the deadline but wanted to share his shower inspirational.

Excited by a recent new patch,
I was hoping a token to catch,
"With no stunning for me,
I'm invincible you see,"
Snarby left me with more than a scratch!