Difference between revisions of "The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare"

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(Updated to post #108)
m (Minor spelling fix (my "L" key got stuck))
 
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[[File:Krogmo_Book_Cover.png|right|300px]]
 
[[File:Krogmo_Book_Cover.png|right|300px]]
  
−
'''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' is a player-run forum event.
+
'''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' is a player-run forum event.<br>
−
[[File:Worksign.png|200px]]
+
[[File:King Krogmo's Kitchen.png|400px]]
  
 
Hosted by the '''Obsidian Guild''' to herald the arrival of '''King Krogmo's Coliseum.'''<br>
 
Hosted by the '''Obsidian Guild''' to herald the arrival of '''King Krogmo's Coliseum.'''<br>
Line 22: Line 22:
 
This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.  
 
This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.  
  
−
== Deadline ==
+
== Deadline - Winner's Announced ==
−
'''Thursday, September 1, 2011'''
+
'''Thursday, September 1, 2011''' - '''CLOSED'''
  
 
== Judges ==
 
== Judges ==
Line 55: Line 55:
 
All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.
 
All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.
  
−
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Example by TheBadger|content=
+
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Winning Entries|content=
−
Install Quicksilver version T3 in your boss' Mac.<br>
+
'''Celebren, President of Vice'''
−
Watch the sparks fly when your boss launches<br>
+
<br>Kill Ultra Blast Cube.<br>
−
his '''Your Fired!''' e-mail application.<br>
+
Quickly insert explosive blobs in airtight little cups.<br>
 +
Leave in communal fridge with note:<br>
 +
"I made grape jell-o for everyone, enjoy! <3"<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Sojuu, Senior Vice'''
 +
<br>Purchase a love puppy disguise<br>
 +
Place rocket puppy disguised as love puppy at the boss' door<br>
 +
Ring the doorbell and run<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Harada, Junior Vice'''
 +
<br>Gather as many scuttlebots as possible and remove their legs.<br>
 +
Replace every photocopier in the building with them.<br>
 +
Wait for somebody to lift the lid....<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Krystianna, Ad Vice'''
 +
<br>1) Announce retroactive plan to force all under-performers to reimburse company for each piece of office furniture thrown.<br>
 +
2) Watch underlings panic<br>
 +
3) Evil laugh if appropriate<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Agentalbedo, De Vice'''
 +
<br>Hire a horde of success driven, idealistic Zombies as unpaid interns.<br>
 +
Acquire a Grim Totem.<br>
 +
Work them to death.<br>
 +
Chuckle as they revive.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Watch the fireworks.<br>
 
Watch the fireworks.<br>
 
Profit.<br>
 
Profit.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Agentalbedo|content=
 +
<br>Hire a horde of success driven, idealistic Zombies as unpaid interns.<br>
 +
Acquire a Grim Totem.<br>
 +
Work them to death.<br>
 +
Chuckle as they revive.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Cover office in oil. Burn everything.<br>
 
Cover office in oil. Burn everything.<br>
 
Record boss' horrified awakening.<br>
 
Record boss' horrified awakening.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]]  Armerio|content=
 +
<br>Needed: Almirian Seal, Vanaduke<br>
 +
Steal an Almirian Seal from Vanaduke<br>
 +
Give it to boss.<br>
 +
Tell Vanaduke<br>
 +
Watch that mace swing. Ha.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Fill large event cake with Devilites.<br>
 
Fill large event cake with Devilites.<br>
 
Offer cake.<br>
 
Offer cake.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Bopp|content=
 +
<br>While your boss is trying to get work done,<br>
 +
repeatedly drop Nitronomes,<br>
 +
so that he can't see what he's doing.<br>
 +
Eventually he will simply quit.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Install Spiral Knight on his PC while he is distracted, with run on start up.<br>
 
Install Spiral Knight on his PC while he is distracted, with run on start up.<br>
 
S\he will become a SK loving zombie!!!<br>
 
S\he will become a SK loving zombie!!!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Dilbert77 |content=
 +
<br>1. sneak sloom into boss's office<br>
 +
2. make sure sloom attacks<br>
 +
3. while boss sleeps, replace his mug with mug of misery<br>
 +
4. avoid misfortune by calling in sick<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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}}
 
}}
 
{{showhide|'''F'''|content=
 
{{showhide|'''F'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Fehzor|content=
 +
<br>Replace stapler with repainted catalyzer.<br>
 +
Watch the boss obliterate his important documents and injure himself in the explosions to follow.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Final-Crescendo|content=
 +
<br>Gather coworkers for a "game":<br>
 +
Catch a ball in a funnel held in player's mouth.<br>
 +
When Boss tries playing, pour Fire Vial down the funnel.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Flists|content=
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Flists|content=
 
<br>Mix Impostocube and Toxigel to make disguised laxative jelly. <br>
 
<br>Mix Impostocube and Toxigel to make disguised laxative jelly. <br>
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Let it hit your boss once.<br>
 
Let it hit your boss once.<br>
 
Let the Yesman do the rest.<br>
 
Let the Yesman do the rest.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Forteds|content=
 +
<br>Install Howlitzer type Vile into boss computer.<br>
 +
Boss sends e-mail and infects all computers.<br>
 +
Computers crash on, then into all.<br>
 +
Survivers now have bird flu.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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if he never does, well<br>
 
if he never does, well<br>
 
"giggles", hire someone else.<br>
 
"giggles", hire someone else.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Harada|content=
 +
<br>Gather as many scuttlebots as possible and remove their legs.<br>
 +
Replace every photocopier in the building with them.<br>
 +
Wait for somebody to lift the lid....<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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}}
 
}}
 
{{showhide|'''I'''|content=
 
{{showhide|'''I'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Icycloud|content=
 +
<br>Order fiends Iraq for war.<br>
 +
He will be huge debt.<br>
 +
Called developer for white house meeting.<br>
 +
Energy price raise like crazy due to inflation.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Indigoraven|content=
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Indigoraven|content=
 
<br>Give everybody a monster cage from teir 3<br>
 
<br>Give everybody a monster cage from teir 3<br>
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<br>Forget cherry bombs. GRAVITON bomb the office toilets!<br>
 
<br>Forget cherry bombs. GRAVITON bomb the office toilets!<br>
 
Your boss can't fire you from the john - and he'll be there for a while!<br>
 
Your boss can't fire you from the john - and he'll be there for a while!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Katmint|content=
 +
<br>Smuggle Beryl Greaver into the office, let it loose, then take shelter.<br>
 +
Coworkers fired for lack of productivity as they cannot work while shock spazzing!<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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throw him to the "BLAST NETWORK" ARENA!<br>
 
throw him to the "BLAST NETWORK" ARENA!<br>
 
capture it with a vid.cam and upload! :D<br>
 
capture it with a vid.cam and upload! :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kriptoid |content=
 +
<br>have president Bush come to Cradle. Show him some oilers.<br>
 +
he will wage WAR for oil. intense war makes demands for king krogmos products plummet<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Krystianna|content=
 +
<br>1) Announce retroactive plan to force all under-performers to reimburse company for each piece of office furniture thrown.<br>
 +
2) Watch underlings panic<br>
 +
3) Evil laugh if appropriate<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Watch from afar as the trojans rip through the offices of your enemies,<br>
 
Watch from afar as the trojans rip through the offices of your enemies,<br>
 
No cubical will ever be safe again!<br>
 
No cubical will ever be safe again!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kurapika|content=
 +
<br>(1) /shout "Dogrock is STOOOOPID"<br>
 +
(2) Step1 Invokes the wrath of Allpowerful Dogrock's throwing arm...<br>
 +
(3) *Takes cover inside breakroom behind coworkers*<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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}}
 
}}
 
{{showhide|'''L'''|content=
 
{{showhide|'''L'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Lavium|content=
 +
<br>1. Tell boss if he hits the stuffed animal with a ball he wins a prize.<br>
 +
2. ''throw''<br>
 +
3. Alpha wolver disappears and pops up your boss' ass.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] leeroy_j|content=
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] leeroy_j|content=
 
<br>Snipe him with a Magnus, Bounce him with a Shield.<br>
 
<br>Snipe him with a Magnus, Bounce him with a Shield.<br>
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Fill office mailbox with Red and Purple mineral shards.<br>
 
Fill office mailbox with Red and Purple mineral shards.<br>
 
Get off work on Monday: blame fiend infestation.... hire cleaners.<br>
 
Get off work on Monday: blame fiend infestation.... hire cleaners.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] michael99 (forum name)|content=
 +
<br>Post a Nitronome disguised as<br>
 +
a Knight wearing Valkyrie armor on boss's wall.<br>
 +
Put some blast squares lying around.<br>
 +
Watch as boss's office blows up!<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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give him package later<br>
 
give him package later<br>
 
run out the room and hear the screams. :D<br>
 
run out the room and hear the screams. :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Schattentag|content=
 +
<br>Plant Trojan on boss' computer.<br>
 +
Watch it crash.<br>
 +
After the Trojan's taken charge (get it?), stab it in the back and take over the company.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Spike the next batch with Nightshade in the evening<br>
 
Spike the next batch with Nightshade in the evening<br>
 
Take medical leave <br>
 
Take medical leave <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Sorrel-Kastor|content=
 +
<br>Convince boss to buy shock traps for security.<br>
 +
Have traps spread around the office.<br>
 +
Order a dozen T3 quicksilvers.<br>
 +
Release quicksilvers in office.<br>
 +
Profit.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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<br>Encase all the junk on you co-workers desk in Slimes<br>
 
<br>Encase all the junk on you co-workers desk in Slimes<br>
 
Laugh as he watches in horror as his poor desk becomes a giant Lichen Colony!<br>
 
Laugh as he watches in horror as his poor desk becomes a giant Lichen Colony!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Srsbznsinternet|content=
 +
<br>Place explosives in grid-like fashion in server room<br>
 +
Hide as network is blasted<br>
 +
Devil-IT employees now working as Overtimers to clean up mess<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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<br>Give Impostocube a new disguise that looks strikingly familiar to the Pit Boss.<br>
 
<br>Give Impostocube a new disguise that looks strikingly familiar to the Pit Boss.<br>
 
Watch, as Yesmen waste there time sucking up to a gelatinous blob.<br>
 
Watch, as Yesmen waste there time sucking up to a gelatinous blob.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Swtdrgn|content=
 +
<br>Inform your boss that Royal Jellies are being served tonight.<br>
 +
Invite your boss to your party.<br>
 +
Watch your boss die.<br>
 +
Kick your boss.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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Revive to get 30% of his heat<br>
 
Revive to get 30% of his heat<br>
 
jobless, you can play more SK now :D<br>
 
jobless, you can play more SK now :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Vexon |content=
 +
<br>slip some ruffles in your bosses coffee while he's totally dozed take him on an FSC run.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
 
{{showhide|'''W'''|content=
 
{{showhide|'''W'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wfawwer|content=
 +
<br>Feed blast bomb to mewkat.<br>
 +
Give to boss.<br>
 +
???<br>
 +
Profit!!!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wodanct|content=
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wodanct|content=
 
<br>Become the Yesman.<br>
 
<br>Become the Yesman.<br>
Line 608: Line 764:
 
}}
 
}}
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xplad|content=
 
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xplad|content=
−
<br>Leave a T3 Jelly under your coworker's chair.<br>
+
<br>Host the annual Piercing Damage convention in the office and run to the elevator when the event starts..<br>
−
Fracture one leg of the chair.<br>
+
−
Repeat on all higher-ups for corporate domination.<br>
+
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
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<br>Hack into bosses CPU, transfer all Crystal energy and crowns to Exotic Devilite Dancing Inc. <br>
 
<br>Hack into bosses CPU, transfer all Crystal energy and crowns to Exotic Devilite Dancing Inc. <br>
 
Send details to all employees, police,laugh like crazy!<br>
 
Send details to all employees, police,laugh like crazy!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xylka|content=
 +
<br>Tell Vanaduke that your boss wants to fire Vanaduke.<br>
 +
Buy boss a "pet"<br>
 +
Bring him hungry pet Snarbolax<br>
 +
Vanaduke comes in at that moment.<br>
 +
Laugh.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''Y'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Yaemiir|content=
 +
<br>Administer false termination notices to the Flame Howlitzer department.<br>
 +
Grin as they collect their 'severance pay'.<br>
 +
Everyone's fired!<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
Line 627: Line 797:
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
 +
  
  
Line 632: Line 803:
  
 
== Winners ==
 
== Winners ==
−
*{{star|5|color=6cb0b9}}'''President of Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|5|color=6cb0b9}}'''Celebren, President of Vice'''
−
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Senior Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Sojuu, Senior Vice'''
−
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Junior Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Harada, Junior Vice'''
−
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Ad Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Krystianna, Ad Vice'''
−
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''De Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''Agentalbedo, De Vice'''
  
−
=== Wallpaper ===
+
=== Wallpapers ===
−
[[File:Construction.jpg|250px]]
+
[[File:Recipe for Success.png|250px]] [[File:King Krogmo's Kitchen.png|250px]]
 +
<br>
 +
2 Wallpaper arts included: '''Recipe for Success + King Krogmo's Kitchen'''<br>
 +
''Move over Chef Ramsey, The King has taken over the kitchen!''
  
 
[[Category:Player-run events]]
 
[[Category:Player-run events]]

Latest revision as of 22:07, 19 September 2011

Krogmo Book Cover.png

The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare is a player-run forum event.
King Krogmo's Kitchen.png

Hosted by the Obsidian Guild to herald the arrival of King Krogmo's Coliseum.

King Krogmo did not get to the top of the corporate Coliseum ladder by good looks alone!

Here's your chance to devise a deliciously evil office warfare tactic to annihilate the competition and help King Krogmo retain his corporeal Coliseum corporation from scheming underlings.

Details

In one short paragraph of 25 words or less, construct an original evil plan to annihilate, subjugate, eradicate, irradiate, prank or otherwise embarrass corporate cronies into submission. Dogrock of EoS notes the importance of short plans as long monologues give your cronies time to lob office furniture and half eaten donuts at you. Evil plan MUST be Spiral Knights themed. See TheBadger's example below.

Please keep your submission within the Spiral Knights TOS or your submission will get nuked by a GM or disqualified by the judges.

One submission only please as The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare Wiki as well as our data entry devilites may explode.

Entries are only accepted through the official Spiral Knights forum link: http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/18907

Eligibility

This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.

Deadline - Winner's Announced

Thursday, September 1, 2011 - CLOSED

Judges

  • Raspberry
  • TheBadger
  • Eurydice

Judging Criteria

  • 50 points Evilness
  • 25 points Originality and creativity
  • 25 points Following details
  • -1000 points Trolling the competition or pestering the judges

Judging Phase

  • 1-3 weeks

Dependent on the volume of submissions received, real life schedules of the judges, and the few days it takes to stage and create a wallpaper of the winning entry. The wallpaper phase includes training inexperienced monsters into Academy Award actors and field testing evil office tactics on TheBadger.

Rewards

★★★★★President of Vice Receives:

  • 1500 CE Salary
  • Illustrious Wallpaper Illustration


Vice Management Receives:

  • ★★★★☆Senior Vice ~ 500 CE Salary
  • ★★★☆☆Junior Vice ~ 400 CE Salary
  • ★★☆☆☆Ad Vice ~ 300 CE Salary
  • ★☆☆☆☆De Vice ~ 200 CE Salary

Tactics for Success

Get Even.png

All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.




Winners

  • ★★★★★Celebren, President of Vice
  • ★★★★☆Sojuu, Senior Vice
  • ★★★☆☆Harada, Junior Vice
  • ★★☆☆☆Krystianna, Ad Vice
  • ★☆☆☆☆Agentalbedo, De Vice

Wallpapers

Recipe for Success.png King Krogmo's Kitchen.png
2 Wallpaper arts included: Recipe for Success + King Krogmo's Kitchen
Move over Chef Ramsey, The King has taken over the kitchen!

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