User:CootieCakes

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A Little History of Cootiecakes

Cootiecakes is without doubt the cuddliest and most innocent knight from the Skylark and arrived on Cradle during the Great Steam Hat-Rush of 2011. Like so many others, she was only trying to get herself a silly Spiral Sallet.


However, shortly after leaving her crashed escape pod, Cootiecakes was mercilessly ambushed by what she thought was a swarm of tiny helicopter birds.

For the next seventeen hours, Cootiecakes valiantly fought and struggled against the ruthless Snipes. Outrageous amounts of cuddles, pecking and fondling, some of which are illegal in 42 countries, were exchanged until she finally claimed a glorious victory.


With her mighty foe defeated and escaping the battlefield, Cootiecakes concluded her heroic battle by tossing her flip-flops at the Snipe squadron leader's face and swore to turn their entire race into chicken nuggets if they misbehaved again.

Cootiecakes eventually recovered from the overload of fluffy cuteness she suffered and decided to stay a little longer on Cradle. A few weeks passed and shortly before finishing her first 5 Stars Set, she met Kyrios from <Active> and was invited to join them.


Cootiecakes stayed in <Active> and <Unity> for over a year and finally retired and left <Unity> in August 2012. She now owns an item shop called "Cootie's Little Shop of Many Things" on Spiral Knight's Forums.


A Little Timeline of Cootiecakes

  • Crashed on Cradle in June 2011
  • Met some cuddly people from <Echo of Silence> a week afterwards
  • Accepted helping Vlad get his guild started and joined <Angry Gamer Society> as an Officer
  • Left <Angry Gamer Society> and joined <Active> after meeting Kyrios during the worst Jelly King run in SK History
  • Met Njthug who greeted her with "Cootiecakes, you're dead to me now" and who started bullying her ever since
  • Promoted to Officer and then Guild Master by Heron in <Active>
  • Wubbed Sketti so much that Love Auras magically appeared in Spiral Knights
  • Joined <Unity> as Guild Master after the <Active> Split
  • Recruited Vokster after a painfully 30 minutes long test-run where she almost died laughing at his attempt to Polaris Vana
  • Promoted Vokster and Rari to Guild Masters and Retired from <Unity>
  • Is now seen hanging around Haven, usually cuddling people or selling things
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