Difference between revisions of "The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare"

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[[File:Krogmo_Book_Cover.png|right|300px]]
 
[[File:Krogmo_Book_Cover.png|right|300px]]
  
'''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' is a player-run forum event.
+
'''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' is a player-run forum event.<br>
[[File:Worksign.png|200px]]
+
[[File:King Krogmo's Kitchen.png|400px]]
  
Sponsored by the '''Obsidian Guild''' to herald the arrival of '''King Krogmo's Coliseum.'''<br>
+
Hosted by the '''Obsidian Guild''' to herald the arrival of '''King Krogmo's Coliseum.'''<br>
  
 
King Krogmo did not get to the top of the corporate Coliseum ladder by good looks alone!<br>
 
King Krogmo did not get to the top of the corporate Coliseum ladder by good looks alone!<br>
  
Here's your chance to a devise deliciously evil office warfare tactic to annihilate the competition and help King Krogmo retain his corporeal Coliseum corporation from scheming underlings.<br>
+
Here's your chance to devise a deliciously evil office warfare tactic to annihilate the competition and help King Krogmo retain his corporeal Coliseum corporation from scheming underlings.<br>
  
 
== Details ==
 
== Details ==
In one short paragraph of 25 words or less, construct an '''original''' evil plan to annihilate, subjugate, eradicate, irradiate, prank or otherwise embarrass corporate cronies into submission. Evil plan MUST be Spiral Knights themed. See TheBadger's example below.
+
In one short paragraph of 25 words or less, construct an '''original''' evil plan to annihilate, subjugate, eradicate, irradiate, prank or otherwise embarrass corporate cronies into submission. Dogrock of EoS notes the importance of short plans as long monologues give your cronies time to lob office furniture and half eaten donuts at you. Evil plan MUST be Spiral Knights themed. See TheBadger's example below.
  
 
Please keep your submission within the Spiral Knights TOS or your submission will get nuked by a GM or disqualified by the judges.
 
Please keep your submission within the Spiral Knights TOS or your submission will get nuked by a GM or disqualified by the judges.
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One submission only please as '''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' Wiki as well as our data entry devilites may explode.
 
One submission only please as '''The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare''' Wiki as well as our data entry devilites may explode.
  
Entries are only accepted through the official Spiral Knights forum link: (TBA)
+
Entries are only accepted through the official Spiral Knights forum link: http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/18907
  
 
== Eligibility ==
 
== Eligibility ==
 
This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.  
 
This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.  
  
== Deadline ==
+
== Deadline - Winner's Announced ==
'''Thursday, September 1, 2011'''
+
'''Thursday, September 1, 2011''' - '''CLOSED'''
  
 
== Judges ==
 
== Judges ==
 
*'''Raspberry'''
 
*'''Raspberry'''
*'''Thebadger'''
+
*'''TheBadger'''
*'''Guest Judges'''
+
*'''Eurydice'''
 +
 
 +
== Judging Criteria ==
 +
*50 points '''Evilness'''
 +
*25 points '''Originality and creativity'''
 +
*25 points '''Following details'''
 +
*-1000 points '''Trolling the competition or pestering the judges'''
 +
 
 +
== Judging Phase ==
 +
*1-3 weeks
 +
Dependent on the volume of submissions received, real life schedules of the judges, and the few days it takes to stage and create a wallpaper of the winning entry. The wallpaper phase includes training inexperienced monsters into Academy Award actors and field testing evil office tactics on TheBadger.
  
 
== Rewards ==
 
== Rewards ==
'''President of Vice Receives:'''
+
{{star|5|color=6cb0b9}}'''President of Vice Receives:'''
*'''CE Salary (TBA)'''
+
*'''1500 CE Salary'''
 
*'''Illustrious Wallpaper Illustration'''
 
*'''Illustrious Wallpaper Illustration'''
 
+
<br>
 
'''Vice Management Receives:'''
 
'''Vice Management Receives:'''
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Senior Vice ~ CE Salary (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Senior Vice ~ 500 CE Salary'''
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Junior Vice ~ CE Salary (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Junior Vice ~ 400 CE Salary'''
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Ad Vice ~ CE Salary (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Ad Vice ~ 300 CE Salary'''
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''De Vice ~ CE Salary (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''De Vice ~ 200 CE Salary'''
  
 
== Tactics for Success ==
 
== Tactics for Success ==
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All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.
 
All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.
  
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Example by TheBadger|content=
+
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Winning Entries|content=
Install Quicksilver version T3 in your boss' Mac.<br>
+
'''Celebren, President of Vice'''
Watch the sparks fly when your boss launches<br>
+
<br>Kill Ultra Blast Cube.<br>
his '''Your Fired!''' e-mail application.<br>
+
Quickly insert explosive blobs in airtight little cups.<br>
 +
Leave in communal fridge with note:<br>
 +
"I made grape jell-o for everyone, enjoy! <3"<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Sojuu, Senior Vice'''
 +
<br>Purchase a love puppy disguise<br>
 +
Place rocket puppy disguised as love puppy at the boss' door<br>
 +
Ring the doorbell and run<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Harada, Junior Vice'''
 +
<br>Gather as many scuttlebots as possible and remove their legs.<br>
 +
Replace every photocopier in the building with them.<br>
 +
Wait for somebody to lift the lid....<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Krystianna, Ad Vice'''
 +
<br>1) Announce retroactive plan to force all under-performers to reimburse company for each piece of office furniture thrown.<br>
 +
2) Watch underlings panic<br>
 +
3) Evil laugh if appropriate<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Agentalbedo, De Vice'''
 +
<br>Hire a horde of success driven, idealistic Zombies as unpaid interns.<br>
 +
Acquire a Grim Totem.<br>
 +
Work them to death.<br>
 +
Chuckle as they revive.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
}}
 
}}
 +
<br>
 +
{{showhide|'''A'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Adderone|content=
 +
<br>Fill Lord Vanaduke's coffee with sewage sludge.<br>
 +
Leave classic "HAHA UR STOOPID" note signed with the competitors' signatures (fake, of course).<br>
 +
Watch the fireworks.<br>
 +
Profit.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Agentalbedo|content=
 +
<br>Hire a horde of success driven, idealistic Zombies as unpaid interns.<br>
 +
Acquire a Grim Totem.<br>
 +
Work them to death.<br>
 +
Chuckle as they revive.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Akuma|content=
 +
<br>The boss confronts knights,<br>
 +
yes men in elevator,<br>
 +
hit "down", the boss dies.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Arca|content=
 +
<br>Order a Sloom and Oilers.<br>
 +
Catapult Sloom onto boss' face and set him asleep.<br>
 +
Cover office in oil. Burn everything.<br>
 +
Record boss' horrified awakening.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]]  Armerio|content=
 +
<br>Needed: Almirian Seal, Vanaduke<br>
 +
Steal an Almirian Seal from Vanaduke<br>
 +
Give it to boss.<br>
 +
Tell Vanaduke<br>
 +
Watch that mace swing. Ha.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Aroxian|content=
 +
<br>Replace Pit Boss' coffee with a mixture of volt oil and Phial of Phear.<br>
 +
Encourage Pit Boss' to share their coffee with everyone.<br>
 +
Run.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Aviticus|content=
 +
<br>My weapon brings those hungry avid for desire comes with heavy price and yet my shield holds with extreme face bring laughter but left soulless.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Axeslicer|content=
 +
<br>knock out boss with an iron slug loaded with pellets.<br>
 +
put him in a cage with two rabbid wolvers.<br>
 +
enjoy the satisfaction of his pain.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''B'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Beastlikethat|content=
 +
<br>Set several bombs in your boss's office.<br>
 +
In the confusion have him murder 50 innocent Mewkats.>:D<br>
 +
Laugh as he commit suicide.<br>
 +
Take his precious belongings. <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] BigFootM|content=
 +
<br>Gather all "Yesmen"<br>
 +
Go to Nick's office.<br>
 +
When he ask somebody something call him up and say YES!<br>
 +
Annoy him to death.<br>
 +
Throw pitchforks.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Biomechanika|content=
 +
<br>Invite higher company members to "Boss Appreciation Event".<br>
 +
Charge higher-up's accounts with "party expenses", for millions.<br>
 +
Fill large event cake with Devilites.<br>
 +
Offer cake.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Bopp|content=
 +
<br>While your boss is trying to get work done,<br>
 +
repeatedly drop Nitronomes,<br>
 +
so that he can't see what he's doing.<br>
 +
Eventually he will simply quit.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''C'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Celebren|content=
 +
<br>Kill Ultra Blast Cube.<br>
 +
Quickly insert explosive blobs in airtight little cups.<br>
 +
Leave in communal fridge with note:<br>
 +
"I made grape jell-o for everyone, enjoy! <3"<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Coneykrab|content=
 +
<br>Kiss feet until you get the yes-man position<br>
 +
Earn the complete trust of the boss<br>
 +
Kill him with kindness<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Corse|content=
 +
<br>Set a blue box in blast network field.<br>
 +
Just as session starts destroy box.<br>
 +
See Krogmo scream as field walls disappear.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Cytrixx|content=
 +
<br>Explain the clockworks IN DETAIL (scary)<br>
 +
Also replace all office furniture with worthless Ecto drops (sad)<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''D'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] DarthAlpha|content=
 +
<br>Distract the boss.<br>
 +
Install Spiral Knight on his PC while he is distracted, with run on start up.<br>
 +
S\he will become a SK loving zombie!!!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Dilbert77 |content=
 +
<br>1. sneak sloom into boss's office<br>
 +
2. make sure sloom attacks<br>
 +
3. while boss sleeps, replace his mug with mug of misery<br>
 +
4. avoid misfortune by calling in sick<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Dukesky|content=
 +
<br>Replace coffee pot with used motor oil.<br>
 +
Fill water cooler with hot tamale sauce.<br>
 +
Record it all on video.<br>
 +
Profit ?! ....<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''E'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Eradicats|content=
 +
<br>Learn Old Management pays negative wages, no overtime<br>
 +
Find compromising pictures of old CEOgre on Obsidian+ (a social networking site)<br>
 +
....Blackmail is a powerful thing.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''F'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Fehzor|content=
 +
<br>Replace stapler with repainted catalyzer.<br>
 +
Watch the boss obliterate his important documents and injure himself in the explosions to follow.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Final-Crescendo|content=
 +
<br>Gather coworkers for a "game":<br>
 +
Catch a ball in a funnel held in player's mouth.<br>
 +
When Boss tries playing, pour Fire Vial down the funnel.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Flists|content=
 +
<br>Mix Impostocube and Toxigel to make disguised laxative jelly. <br>
 +
Hand to the boss; watch as he runs to the bathroom over and over again!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Forever|content=
 +
<br>First pour a poison vial in to the Pitboss's mug.<br>
 +
Hire a lumber.<br>
 +
Let it hit your boss once.<br>
 +
Let the Yesman do the rest.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Forteds|content=
 +
<br>Install Howlitzer type Vile into boss computer.<br>
 +
Boss sends e-mail and infects all computers.<br>
 +
Computers crash on, then into all.<br>
 +
Survivers now have bird flu.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''G'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Gimpyo|content=
 +
<br>Replace original shipment of supplies with Alphas<br>
 +
Go to work early<br>
 +
Release the Alpha Wolvers into workplace<br>
 +
Hide in vent to watch<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Gllang|content=
 +
<br>Acquire firm with loan to Krogmo.<br>
 +
Distribute mist tanks containing lichen slime.<br>
 +
Knights merge into giant slime, destroying Coliseum and Haven.<br>
 +
Krogmo defaults on loan. <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Greenlightning|content=
 +
<br>Go ask your boss to a party<br>
 +
then when he gets there offer fruit punch<br>
 +
then blow the whole thing up<br>
 +
with a Graviton Vortex<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Grittle|content=
 +
<br>Get your boss to leave his office<br>
 +
grab a few Royal minis to throw at<br>
 +
watch your boss' face-WAIT,<br>
 +
can't see his face anymore!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Guardianknight|content=
 +
<br>Invite him over.<br>
 +
Tie him up and slice off his limbs, toes, and other things.<br>
 +
Proclaim your feelings about him. Feed him to the wolvers.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Guhnom|content=
 +
<br>Drug boss with sleep vials. Tie him down.<br>
 +
Hire slags to burn his favorite ties until he desperately files resignation, in tears.<br>
 +
Laugh; continue burning.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''H'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Halisi|content=
 +
<br>Lock the enemy in a room<br>
 +
with you friend Carly Mewcat<br>
 +
wait for him to crack<br>
 +
if he never does, well<br>
 +
"giggles", hire someone else.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Harada|content=
 +
<br>Gather as many scuttlebots as possible and remove their legs.<br>
 +
Replace every photocopier in the building with them.<br>
 +
Wait for somebody to lift the lid....<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Helloxo|content=
 +
<br>Convince boss to refocus the company on haze bomb production.<br>
 +
Watch his horrific expression when the update arrives.<br>
 +
Shareholders unhappy, he resigns.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''I'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Icycloud|content=
 +
<br>Order fiends Iraq for war.<br>
 +
He will be huge debt.<br>
 +
Called developer for white house meeting.<br>
 +
Energy price raise like crazy due to inflation.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Indigoraven|content=
 +
<br>Give everybody a monster cage from teir 3<br>
 +
As an apology give them a trip to Almire (one way)<br>
 +
Tell them it's FREEZING over there.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Itep|content=
 +
<br>Dress in Volcanic plate mail<br>
 +
Hide in Higher-ups closets<br>
 +
Watch them all die of heart attacks until you are CEO.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Ithios|content=
 +
<br>Kats have katty agendas.<br>
 +
Have our Desk Clerk schedule a meeting.<br>
 +
Emphasize free food.<br>
 +
I lied! It was a dark ritual for Cattywumpus!<br>
 +
Gadzooks, katastrophe!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''J'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Janem|content=
 +
<br>Go to work with an army of lumbers<br>
 +
Request a 'private meeting'<br>
 +
Finally get that big promotion<br>
 +
Too bad your workplace is completely demolished<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Jazelock|content=
 +
<br>Order T3 Rocket Puppies for the office décor.<br>
 +
From a safe distance, watch coworkers unwrap the packages.<br>
 +
Bask in the sounds of terrified screaming.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Juances|content=
 +
<br>Give Boss' wife a "wings'n poison" cake.<br>
 +
When he goes to graveyard, trap him by sabottaging the elevator.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''K'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kaiseryoshi|content=
 +
<br>Forget cherry bombs. GRAVITON bomb the office toilets!<br>
 +
Your boss can't fire you from the john - and he'll be there for a while!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Katmint|content=
 +
<br>Smuggle Beryl Greaver into the office, let it loose, then take shelter.<br>
 +
Coworkers fired for lack of productivity as they cannot work while shock spazzing!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Knightmovez|content=
 +
<br>put an sloombargo on your Pitboss chair<br>
 +
when he falls ASLEEP.<br>
 +
throw him to the "BLAST NETWORK" ARENA!<br>
 +
capture it with a vid.cam and upload! :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kriptoid |content=
 +
<br>have president Bush come to Cradle. Show him some oilers.<br>
 +
he will wage WAR for oil. intense war makes demands for king krogmos products plummet<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Krystianna|content=
 +
<br>1) Announce retroactive plan to force all under-performers to reimburse company for each piece of office furniture thrown.<br>
 +
2) Watch underlings panic<br>
 +
3) Evil laugh if appropriate<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kuger|content=
 +
<br>Hire Trojan Assassins,<br>
 +
Watch from afar as the trojans rip through the offices of your enemies,<br>
 +
No cubical will ever be safe again!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kurapika|content=
 +
<br>(1) /shout "Dogrock is STOOOOPID"<br>
 +
(2) Step1 Invokes the wrath of Allpowerful Dogrock's throwing arm...<br>
 +
(3) *Takes cover inside breakroom behind coworkers*<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Kyosokun|content=
 +
<br>Replace devilite coworker's half eaten donut supply with half eaten donut holes.<br>
 +
Complete plan with half-eaten donut feast.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''L'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Lavium|content=
 +
<br>1. Tell boss if he hits the stuffed animal with a ball he wins a prize.<br>
 +
2. ''throw''<br>
 +
3. Alpha wolver disappears and pops up your boss' ass.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] leeroy_j|content=
 +
<br>Snipe him with a Magnus, Bounce him with a Shield.<br>
 +
Slash him with a Brandish, Consider yourself Banished. <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Lethalconcept|content=
 +
<br>Disguise Lumbar as tree<br>
 +
Give as present<br>
 +
When the lumbar attacks<br>
 +
Polaris<br>
 +
????<br>
 +
PROFIT<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Lordofnecromancers|content=
 +
<br>Send e-mail with an "Oiler" virus to your boss.<br>
 +
Watch as flamewalls set it on fire.<br>
 +
Screen shows: YOU ARE FIRED!<br>
 +
Hear your boss scream. <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''M'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] MattxAus|content=
 +
<br>Friday night,<br>
 +
Fill office mailbox with Red and Purple mineral shards.<br>
 +
Get off work on Monday: blame fiend infestation.... hire cleaners.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] michael99 (forum name)|content=
 +
<br>Post a Nitronome disguised as<br>
 +
a Knight wearing Valkyrie armor on boss's wall.<br>
 +
Put some blast squares lying around.<br>
 +
Watch as boss's office blows up!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Migake|content=
 +
<br>Go to work on saturday like everyone else,<br>
 +
bring radiant sun shards to office.<br>
 +
Be sure to wear a skolver coat.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Miseryman|content=
 +
<br>Tell competitor it is "Wear your steam knight mask to work day.<br>
 +
Place stagger bombs everywhere.<br>
 +
Co-worker wears mask, everyone gets stunned. Promotion! Jelly co-worker?<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Moogy|content=
 +
<br>Eat all the hot dogs you want<br>
 +
You will still be thin, but outside you're a big jelly fatness.<br>
 +
Hot dogs have feelings<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''N'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Narfle|content=
 +
<br>Nothing the boss looks forward to more than sipping on the ol’ mug of misery.<br>
 +
Too bad about that dark briar barrage in his cup…<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Necrax|content=
 +
<br>With the aid of a Mamga Driver, "negotiate" with boss.<br>
 +
kindly "accept" the company's Crowns,<br>
 +
and exhuast all his Energy.<br>
 +
Now run away....<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Needs|content=
 +
<br>Step one. Hire Corporate Mundo.<br>
 +
Step two. Your done.<br>
 +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiBtoqoCzAM <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Ninjajpbob|content=
 +
<br>Go to Lord Vanaduke's Place<br>
 +
Flood it with smoke detectors.<br>
 +
See his wife to slap him.<br>
 +
He quits his job.<br>
 +
Hit him with a crowbar.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Nordic-Oten|content=
 +
<br>Lure cronies into office filled with dozens of silkwings, and lock the door behind him.<br>
 +
Take delight in watching cronies go mad from endless honking.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] NinjaKnight|content=
 +
<br>Place a Mewkat in the worker's room.<br>
 +
Watch them go insane as they contemplate getting a few crowns or murdering an innocent Kat.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''O'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Originality|content=
 +
<br>Hire eager young soul.<br>
 +
Unpaid overtime. All day, everyday.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] OrangeHero|content=
 +
<br>Present boss with gift,<br>
 +
gift contains BlastNetwork mask,<br>
 +
mask is real bomb.<br>
 +
duck.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''P'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Palma|content=
 +
<br>Remove safety gates in snipe day care.<br>
 +
Snipes roam free in office.<br.
 +
Snipe poop grosses everyone out.<br>
 +
Company gets sued for snipe negligence(Snipeligence).<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Paweu|content=
 +
<br>Research monster boxes<br>
 +
Discover slooms<br>
 +
Acknowledge everyone being defenseless against<br>
 +
EMPLOY, EMPLOY, EEEEEEEEMPLOOOOOOOOOOOY<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Philidor|content=
 +
<br>Herd all snipes into Room<br>
 +
Proclaim petting zoo in haven 'boss' office'<br>
 +
Take half-day off during mass confusion.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''R'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Raffoon|content=
 +
<br>Tell your bosses you've brought Enrique Iglesias to "perform" at their party.<br>
 +
Pull out your Glacius named Enrique.<br>
 +
Give them and their cake a frosting!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Rangerwill|content=
 +
<br>Place Radiant Sun Shards sideways on every office chair of people of higher rank then you.<br>
 +
Wait for cry's of pain.<br>
 +
Your the boss now!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] RedHawkOne|content=
 +
<br>Tired of having to fight brown-nosing yesmen for the corner office?<br>
 +
"Redecorate" the building with a few potted lumbers and watch your competition literally shrink!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''S'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Selenthon|content=
 +
<br>Walk up to Judges<br>
 +
And yell<br>
 +
"COME AT ME BRO!!!"<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Sevinoss|content=
 +
<br>1. Place oilers and timed explosive boxes in boss's office while cleaning cubicle.<br>
 +
2. Hit the last timed explosive.<br>
 +
3. Run.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Shadownox|content=
 +
<br>Hack your boss' bank account.<br>
 +
send all his crowns to "Blast Cube" co.<br>
 +
give him package later<br>
 +
run out the room and hear the screams. :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Schattentag|content=
 +
<br>Plant Trojan on boss' computer.<br>
 +
Watch it crash.<br>
 +
After the Trojan's taken charge (get it?), stab it in the back and take over the company.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Shoebox|content=
 +
<br>Replace boss's wallpaper with 'lichen.png'<br>
 +
Film reaction and post it on Youtube<br>
 +
?????<br>
 +
Profit!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Silfrith|content=
 +
<br>Make King Krogmo organize a Corporation toast.<br>
 +
Replace drinks with fire vials.<br>
 +
Make a toast and watch.<br>
 +
Be clear with the message, conspirators get "fired".<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Skrumm|content=
 +
<br>Replace coffee supply: decaf.<br>
 +
Smear Zee Core across coffee filters.<br>
 +
Open sleeping coworkers' browsers: Faithbook, Scroogle+, YouNoob
 +
Videos, Rebecca Black Fan Fiction. <br>
 +
Set as homepages.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Smur|content=
 +
<br>Pour a little sleep vial into your Boss's mug,<br>
 +
Sprinkle a little blaze pepper on various body parts of his,<br>
 +
Watch him wake up.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Smurfinater |content=
 +
<br>1)capture snarbolax<br>
 +
2)rig cage to party button under office chair<br>
 +
3)remove all stun bells<br>
 +
4)boss and entire building is now pin cushion<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Snarfalarkus|content=
 +
<br>Wait for, "Bring your pet to Work Day"<br>
 +
Build a Rocket puppy to bring to the office<br>
 +
Drop Rocket Puppy in office restrooms<br>
 +
????<br>
 +
Profit.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Sojuu|content=
 +
<br>Purchase a love puppy disguise<br>
 +
Place rocket puppy disguised as love puppy at the boss' door<br>
 +
Ring the doorbell and run<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Sophiera|content=
 +
<br>Make a new coffee brew with lots of Blaze Peppers<br>
 +
Promote it<br>
 +
Spike the next batch with Nightshade in the evening<br>
 +
Take medical leave <br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Sorrel-Kastor|content=
 +
<br>Convince boss to buy shock traps for security.<br>
 +
Have traps spread around the office.<br>
 +
Order a dozen T3 quicksilvers.<br>
 +
Release quicksilvers in office.<br>
 +
Profit.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Soulstaker|content=
 +
<br>Crash the market.<br>
 +
Every fiend tpgets fired and turns into a devilitte.<br>
 +
When knights do a fiend theme their like wtf all these devilittes!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Spadger|content=
 +
<br>Unbind his gear and sell it.<br>
 +
Give away the remaining crowns and CE.<br>
 +
Take his position in the company as he has a nervous breakdown.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Splinter|content=
 +
<br>Encase all the junk on you co-workers desk in Slimes<br>
 +
Laugh as he watches in horror as his poor desk becomes a giant Lichen Colony!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Srsbznsinternet|content=
 +
<br>Place explosives in grid-like fashion in server room<br>
 +
Hide as network is blasted<br>
 +
Devil-IT employees now working as Overtimers to clean up mess<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Superawesomeknight|content=
 +
<br>Enter boss room<br>
 +
Throwing furiously with poison and curse vials<br>
 +
Watch him faint<br>
 +
Activate the Graviton Bomb<br>
 +
Leave him sink in black hole<br>
 +
Mawahhhaaa<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Svsniper|content=
 +
<br>Give Impostocube a new disguise that looks strikingly familiar to the Pit Boss.<br>
 +
Watch, as Yesmen waste there time sucking up to a gelatinous blob.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Swtdrgn|content=
 +
<br>Inform your boss that Royal Jellies are being served tonight.<br>
 +
Invite your boss to your party.<br>
 +
Watch your boss die.<br>
 +
Kick your boss.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Syphus|content=
 +
<br>Drop all employee records from payroll database excluding yours and Krogmo's.<br>
 +
Delete all database users and change service account password.<br>
 +
GG.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''T'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Turtle-Ninja|content=
 +
<br>Use Mug of Misery to make your boss' coffee,<br>
 +
Secretly add as many mini jellys as possible,<br>
 +
Watch his stomach explode after he drinks it.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''V'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Vtwo|content=
 +
<br>Give boss Grand Faust for Birthday<br>
 +
Watch him die on curse<br>
 +
Revive to get 30% of his heat<br>
 +
jobless, you can play more SK now :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Vexon |content=
 +
<br>slip some ruffles in your bosses coffee while he's totally dozed take him on an FSC run.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''W'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wfawwer|content=
 +
<br>Feed blast bomb to mewkat.<br>
 +
Give to boss.<br>
 +
???<br>
 +
Profit!!!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wodanct|content=
 +
<br>Become the Yesman.<br>
 +
Place party button in Bossman's office when the bossman is getting coffee.<br>
 +
Watch the Trojan spawn and you become the new Bossman.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Wonderwaffles|content=
 +
<br>Wait till its boss' birthday<br>
 +
Give him cake with no fork<br>
 +
When he asks for one<br>
 +
Step back and throw him a pitchfork :D<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''X'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xiax|content=
 +
<br>Replace co-worker's office supplies with harmless plushie replicas.<br>
 +
Laugh as their attacks bounce harmlessly off furries invading the office.<br>
 +
Die horribly when furries notice you.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xplad|content=
 +
<br>Host the annual Piercing Damage convention in the office and run to the elevator when the event starts..<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xuezhou|content=
 +
<br>Hack into bosses CPU, transfer all Crystal energy and crowns to Exotic Devilite Dancing Inc. <br>
 +
Send details to all employees, police,laugh like crazy!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Xylka|content=
 +
<br>Tell Vanaduke that your boss wants to fire Vanaduke.<br>
 +
Buy boss a "pet"<br>
 +
Bring him hungry pet Snarbolax<br>
 +
Vanaduke comes in at that moment.<br>
 +
Laugh.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''Y'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Yaemiir|content=
 +
<br>Administer false termination notices to the Flame Howlitzer department.<br>
 +
Grin as they collect their 'severance pay'.<br>
 +
Everyone's fired!<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
{{showhide|'''Z'''|content=
 +
{{showhide|[[File:Hazard Icon.png|20px]] Zanoni|content=
 +
<br>Wait for company trip<br>
 +
Summon reapers on corporate jet<br>
 +
Enjoy chaos.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
}}
 +
}}
 +
 +
 +
 +
  
 
== Winners ==
 
== Winners ==
*{{star|5|color=6cb0b9}}'''President of Vice'''
+
*{{star|5|color=6cb0b9}}'''Celebren, President of Vice'''
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Senior Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|4|color=6cb0b9}}'''Sojuu, Senior Vice'''
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Junior Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|3|color=6cb0b9}}'''Harada, Junior Vice'''
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Ad Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|2|color=6cb0b9}}'''Krystianna, Ad Vice'''
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''De Vice (TBA)'''
+
*{{star|1|color=6cb0b9}}'''Agentalbedo, De Vice'''
  
=== Wallpaper ===
+
=== Wallpapers ===
[[File:Construction.jpg|250px]]
+
[[File:Recipe for Success.png|250px]] [[File:King Krogmo's Kitchen.png|250px]]
 +
<br>
 +
2 Wallpaper arts included: '''Recipe for Success + King Krogmo's Kitchen'''<br>
 +
''Move over Chef Ramsey, The King has taken over the kitchen!''
  
 
[[Category:Player-run events]]
 
[[Category:Player-run events]]

Latest revision as of 22:07, 19 September 2011

Krogmo Book Cover.png

The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare is a player-run forum event.
King Krogmo's Kitchen.png

Hosted by the Obsidian Guild to herald the arrival of King Krogmo's Coliseum.

King Krogmo did not get to the top of the corporate Coliseum ladder by good looks alone!

Here's your chance to devise a deliciously evil office warfare tactic to annihilate the competition and help King Krogmo retain his corporeal Coliseum corporation from scheming underlings.

Details

In one short paragraph of 25 words or less, construct an original evil plan to annihilate, subjugate, eradicate, irradiate, prank or otherwise embarrass corporate cronies into submission. Dogrock of EoS notes the importance of short plans as long monologues give your cronies time to lob office furniture and half eaten donuts at you. Evil plan MUST be Spiral Knights themed. See TheBadger's example below.

Please keep your submission within the Spiral Knights TOS or your submission will get nuked by a GM or disqualified by the judges.

One submission only please as The Devilite's Guide to Office Warfare Wiki as well as our data entry devilites may explode.

Entries are only accepted through the official Spiral Knights forum link: http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/18907

Eligibility

This competition is open to all knights. Only knights are eligible for prizes. Three Rings staff may tender suggestions at their own risk.

Deadline - Winner's Announced

Thursday, September 1, 2011 - CLOSED

Judges

  • Raspberry
  • TheBadger
  • Eurydice

Judging Criteria

  • 50 points Evilness
  • 25 points Originality and creativity
  • 25 points Following details
  • -1000 points Trolling the competition or pestering the judges

Judging Phase

  • 1-3 weeks

Dependent on the volume of submissions received, real life schedules of the judges, and the few days it takes to stage and create a wallpaper of the winning entry. The wallpaper phase includes training inexperienced monsters into Academy Award actors and field testing evil office tactics on TheBadger.

Rewards

★★★★★President of Vice Receives:

  • 1500 CE Salary
  • Illustrious Wallpaper Illustration


Vice Management Receives:

  • ★★★★☆Senior Vice ~ 500 CE Salary
  • ★★★☆☆Junior Vice ~ 400 CE Salary
  • ★★☆☆☆Ad Vice ~ 300 CE Salary
  • ★☆☆☆☆De Vice ~ 200 CE Salary

Tactics for Success

Get Even.png

All office tactics will eventually be sorted alphabetically by the IGN(or forum name, if IGN wasn't given) of the submitter.




Winners

  • ★★★★★Celebren, President of Vice
  • ★★★★☆Sojuu, Senior Vice
  • ★★★☆☆Harada, Junior Vice
  • ★★☆☆☆Krystianna, Ad Vice
  • ★☆☆☆☆Agentalbedo, De Vice

Wallpapers

Recipe for Success.png King Krogmo's Kitchen.png
2 Wallpaper arts included: Recipe for Success + King Krogmo's Kitchen
Move over Chef Ramsey, The King has taken over the kitchen!

Personal tools