User:Derpenstien

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Dr. Thadeus Durr Derpenstien
Murfin.png Have a muffin Murfin.png
Dr. Derp's Pharmacy.png

Cut. Stab. Treat. Repeat.

Profiles
  • Derpenstien

Class

  • Undeadeye

Weapon of Choice

  • Low Orbit Ion Cannon Pointer (Polaris)
Profession
  • Doctor
  • Antique Collector
  • Interdimensional Timelord
  • Muffin Enthusiast
Guild
Favourite Ponies
  1. Derpy Hooves
  2. Pinkie Pie
  3. Everypony else
Expertise
  • Undead
  • Constructs
  • Slimes


About

Dr. Durr Derpenstien, PHD, ready to perform corrective surgery.


Curing sickness, fighting strife, with a syringe and a knife.


Member of Equestrian Knights, capable in daring fights.


Never worry, never fear, Thadeus Durr Derpenstien is here!


The crazy, whacky, all around bonkers Knight of Equestria! That'd be me! Go by Thadeus, Thade, Derpy, Derp, Durr, Doctor, Doc, Dr. D., Etc... (Not really Etc... Who would be refereed to as that? That's just silly.) I can be serious at some times... Key word "some". And this is most definitely not one of those times. You want some serious? Look at some actual events in story-like format down there. Have a muffin.

Murfin.png

Knights of Equestria

One of the very many bronies in Spiral Knights, I'm part of the Knights of Equestria, the first of many brony guilds on Spiral Knights. All of us are avid pony fans. Some of us more then others (like me!). Look us up if you're interested, everything you need to know is on the wiki page. No guarantee you'll get in though: We are full to capacity pretty much all the time.

Traveler's Log

The Gloaming Wildwoods

"It hasn't even been ten minutes since I've entered this strange forest, and already the sun is gone. It wasn't long after noon that I first descended in the elevator to this odd place. I could clearly see it on my way down... But now..." *howls heard in the background* "There it is again! Since I came here, all I've heard is that haunting howl, and that shadowy beast I keep catching glimpses of must be it's source... Perhaps IT is the reason the recon team never made it back... At least Alpha Squad made it through okay, but..." *growling and barking in background* "More of these annoying Wolvers..." *squelching sound, quickly followed by yelps* "This thicket is filled with these creatures... Full of them! Every time I turn around-" *growls, followed by scuffle in background, sound of recorder hitting ground* "GAAAHH! Sweet Celestia- UUURGH! *yelp, followed by squelching and crunching noise* *huff huff* "Well..." *sounds of patting on armour* "At least they're only thick headed metaphorically speaking... But they make such a mess..." *howls heard again* "In any case, I should be close now... A confrontation is coming, I can FEEL it..."

Royal Jelly Palace

"My studies in the Jelly kind have brought me to this rather... Odd place. A castle of sorts, run down and broken, it's swarming with the gelatinous breeds. This trek will no doubt aid in my research... But that is not the only reason I came. More recon teams have gone missing, and much larger ones then in the case of that brutish Snarbolax... A rather odd creature... Steeling itself in darkness to defend itself, only the purity of a chiming bell could break that trance..." *squishing noises heard, followed by more violent squishing noises* "Uck... All over my bones... I just had them bleached... In any case, I came prepared this time. I was able to take on the Snarbolax alone, only because he managed to defeat three knights, and severely wounding a fourth... Twenty knights in total have gone missing down here, never to return, so I requested the aid of three other knights. They all radiate strength, as do their weapons..." *explosion heard in background, followed by a loud woop* "Though they aren't all as... 'Refined' as I am... Though... I can only imagine what form of Jelly could be responsible for all this... Though these plentiful purple one's may give me the answer... Nevertheless, Valkryie assures me that we are drawing near to our destination. I only hope we are up to the task of facing whatever it is that lurks inside this castle... Or, rather, slinks... Slurps? How do you describe a Jelly's movement? No matter... I'm positive we'll pull through... I have heard good things about these three..."

Ironclaw Munitions Factory

"This place stirs up a hurricane of emotions in me. I'm terrified at what awaits me further down... The dreaded Roarmulus Twins. From what the few surviving knights say, they're behemoth sized turrets, possibly capable of destroying all of Haven... Both larger then that Royal Jelly I had dealt with a few days back... It was odd. A multitude of those mini Jellies and some regular sized had sprung from it whenever it swung around. Healing itself with it's own minions... It was a good thing we brought special equipment... Hindering its minions and preventing its healing was the only way of taking it down... And the rage that put it in! Swishing around the room in a fitful flurry of spins and body slams... It can only pale in comparison to these monolithic machines. That, and all of these machines are bent on the destruction of me and my fellow knight, Zettalux. The sheer number of explosives we've had to set off to get through is bone chilling. Who knows how much more they have stored elsewhere... But, I am also at ease, and ecstatic. The constant hum and clanks of gears and switches makes me feel like I'm in my old workshop again, and the wealth of knowledge that can be obtained from all this technology is making this near suicidal trip worthwhile... Though coming unprepared was a major blunder for me, and my friend. Zettalux says he doesn't have the energy to move on, and I only have enough for myself. I have no way of knowing how the fight with these twin turrets will turn out... The amount of time and resources the Gremlins have put into them must have been monumental... Despite my being ill prepared, Zetta said that I should be fine, should I continue. I'm glad he has faith in my abilities... This coming from one of the Celestian Guards is... Rather invigorating. Though I hope this will be enough... The laser grid humming in front of this elevator is obviously here for a reason. I'm almost there..."

Fire Storm Citadel

"I never should have come here, but part of me wanted to come. My non-medical studies have always dealt with three things: The gelatinous breeds of Jelly, the mechanics of Constructs, and the supernatural forces in the Undead. I'm here for the latter reasons... Though I don't think I'll have much research time as I thought. The entire place is scorching; the ground, the walls, even the monsters themselves are lit with flames. And they all seem to be working against us... Traps are everywhere; step on a switch, and in a matter of seconds you're surrounded by flaming skeletons, or giant Trojans are swinging their blades in your direction, in an effort to turn you into another smouldering smear on the floor... I truly see now why the Celestian Guard dress the way they do... This heat is intense... Luckily for me, my armour has a cooling unit attached, but it's working overtime down here... I'm afraid I may have to replace it... But that's the least of my worries. Unity tells me that I'm in good hands, and Valkryie trusts this other knight with us... He's not with the Guards, but I'm sure he could be. I feel as if I'm a burden on these knights, though... They have much better equipment, and I'm not doing much, other than blasting a few reanimated skeletal remains here and there... I plan to change that soon. My application into the ranks of these brave warriors will be accepted as soon as I obtain some powerful items of my own. They say they have been down here plenty of times. I believe them... I'm sure the undead never truly stay... Well... "Dead". The phantoms in the graveyards prove this to an extent... I've come to the conclusion their intangible forms make it easier to "reconstruct" themselves... On a less research inspired note, I've read into a small bit of lore for this region. This "Lord Vanaduke" seems to be the ruler of this kingdom... If it can so be called. All around, the land burns with a malevolent flame. All of it's buildings are destroyed, decimated by a horrific force. It could have been a decent place some time ago... But that time is obviously past. I should read up more on this place when I return to the surface... That is, IF I return..."

Inventory

Arsenal
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